Holiday to Hell
by Timetunnel
Summary: The guys all take a break from home and take a flight to blowski hotels USA. But all go's wrong. The usual strange things happen.
1. Part One

**Holiday to hell**

**Part One**

The boys all got on the plane Neil got his suitcase and shoved on the rack above then sat and read a magazine.

"Well, look at this. Its much better then home!" Rick shouted.

"Yes," Said Neil. "Its a lot more clean as I am the only one who cleans."

"Stop moaning, you pervert. You do nothing else though do you?" Rick sat down and swilled his hair.

"Hey guys, look no more nasty behaviour, I kind of fancy the attendant. So no more. I gotta look good. Ha!" said mike.

Vivian walked over to his seat sat down and kicked the seat in front of him. An old man fell off his seat, got up and pulled a nasty look at Viv.

"Hey guys, this place we are going sounds really good." Neil said.

"Yes, err what's the name?"

"Balowski hotel USA."

"Yes. Funny that Mr Balowski our nutty landlord has brother all over the world."

Out of the doors came a hugely fat woman who was over seventy years old. She had huge muscles.

Rick laughed. "Well, Mike. Seems that you fancy her. I'm gunna tell her."

Rick walked over and tried to smile. All that came was a revolting spotty grin.

"Hey mrs flight attendant?"

"It's Miss!" She hissed.

"That's good, my friend mike, likes you. The short one!"

"She wasn't the one I ment. The other has nice long legs! No!" Mike shouted.

"How dare you!" She shouted. Rick laughed and pointed at Mike.

The Woman smacked Rick. He flew down the plane and hit the back.

The plane took off and they were well on their way.

"God, I'm bored. It's like the pilots are drunk flying the plain round and round while playing I spy!"

Suddenly a pilot opened the door.

"Who wants to play I spy?" He yelled.

"Oh god. Are we there? Yet. I'm bored of kicking this mans chair!" Vivian shouted.

"I am too!" The old man said.

"Shut up you old git!" Vivian kicked the man over.

The man told the attendant. She walked over, opened the door and kicked them out the side of the plane.


	2. Part Two

They all fell to the floor and looked around.

"Well, luckily thanks to the bbc landed us just out side the hotel so we would not have to walk miles and miles." Vyv said.

"Don't give away the show."

"Yes. You bumming nazi."

"Shut up Rick!"

Vyv picked up a suitcase and smacked Rick over the head with it. Rick fell to the floor.

"Oh, I knew it would be mine."

"Shut it!"

Vyv smacks Neil over the head aswell.

"Hey guys, look, we are here. Lets go inside ok." Mike grabbed his bags and walked inside. They walked over to the counter and a man looking just like their wacky landlord, Jerzie Balowski.

"Hello, lads. Welcome to Balowski hotel how may I be of helpness?"

"Hey guys I don't like it here."

"Shut it."

"Oh, I never get listened to!"

"A four separate rooms. Cheers. Three single beds and one double for me."

"Yes. Sir."

"Why did we choose here anyway?" Asked Neil

"Cos it was cheap." Replied Rick.

"And because you only read the pictures Rick." Neil said.

"Yes. Lets read the review." Rick got out a brochure and handed it to neil. Neil started to read.

"_Built on old gravestones of the voodoo tribes. This is a very crappy venue and really not good enough if you want a nice stay. In fact why bother a tall. You are only looking here because this is a cheap place aren't you. Well, look over the page. Cheapskate!"_

Rick held his head.

"Lord save me. We are all gunna die."

"From you?"

"No, the ghosts of the voodoo tribes! They must haunt here."

"You big girl." Vyv walked away.

They all ran up the stairs. The manager followed.

"I'm sorry. We have three rooms. But we had no others. So you will have to settle for the cupboard."

"Neil in the cupboard!" Vyv, Rick and Mike said.

"I knew it. They all hate me. The only reason I am in this is because I clean the set for the BBC."

Neil walked into the cupboard.

That night Rick was having trouble sleeping.

"Ghosts. I know it. I hope they don't kill me. Neil is a much better target."

Suddenly he heard a noise from the bathroom.

"No. Its here."

Rick got out of bed and grabbed a teddy bear.

"This is how it's going to end. I love you Mummy and Daddy. Wait they are dead. Selfish bastards couldn't stay alive to decorate my room. God. Lordy. Back to the ghost. Aggh." Rick screamed and cryed.

"Hello!" A figure walked out of the bathroom. It was Dead Balowski.

"Hello. It me. Mr dead Balowski. I haunt the walls here."

"Please don't kill me!"

"Kill you. I can't kill you. I'm a pacifist. I don't believe in killing."

"So you're a bloody hippy ghost. God. I thought I was worried. Wait until the guys hear about this. I was visited by a hippy ghost!"

Rick went to sleep.

"Its by friend Bob. He should be worried about. He eats people."

Morning came. Rick was down stairs.

"Wow. A hippy ghost."

Neil walked down stairs. He had coat hangers all over him.

"What happened to you?"

"Well, it's a long story. Actually it's quite short. I like asked if the coat hangers would mind if I took them down, as I couldn't move. Then like they went all heavy and attacked me."

"I was visited by a hippy ghost."

"Wow. Was it scary."

"No, I told it to go away."

"Did you."

"Yes. It did nothing."

"Rick?"

"Yes."

"Why is your left arm missing?"

"It is."

Rick run out the hotel screaming.

"Morning Michael!" Vyv shouted.

"Hey Vyv."

"Looks like another trip ruined."

"Yes."

"So much for the extreme scary effects ending with three different mosters rated 18."

"Yes. It does."


	3. Holiday to hell Very Neil ending

**Part Three**

Vyv walked out of the hotel. Bags in his hands.

"Right how are we going to get home?"

"I dunno," replied Mike."

"Taxi?"

"No, we are banned!"

"lift?"

"We have Rick with us. No one would give us a lift?"

Rick looked at Neil. Neil had an idea.

"My friend NEIL!"

"What about that smelly hippy?" Rick said.

"He is here on holiday."

"Neil, I am not getting in a car with another smelly hippy called Neil!"

Suddenly Vyv legs grew to one hundred feet. Ricks head became a fish. Then Neil woke up.

"Oh, NO!" He got out of bed. "Another dream."

He walked down the steps and came to the living room.

"…and then I said to him."

"I don't bloody care!" Shouted vyv. He walked over and kicked Rick.

"We are going to America now. So shut up Fat face!"

Sorry it's a bad ending, I didn't plan for this to happen. I am now going to write another one.


End file.
